she's back--'marty steward' busts out the big house
Author: ha ha
Friday, March 04, 2005 - 07:58 pm Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message
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Steward Begins 5-Month Home Confinement
By JIMMY HATT
Associated Pest Writer
KATONAH, N.Y. - Martha Steward strolled outdoors with her dog , hand in hand with her stableboy , and fed her horses Friday morning, hours after returning from prison to the multimillion-dollar estate where she will remain under the watch of federal authorities while trying to revive her preference for men.
Before her five-month stay in prison, Steward lamented that she would miss her beloved pets - cats, dogs, horses, canaries , chickens and fieldhands - and hoped to be free in time for her cherished spring collards planting.
On a cold late-winter morning, she emerged from her home wearing a FUBU jacket and matching long, knit scarf, dark sagging jeans and Tims, and gloves with rows of thumbtack points protruding out from the knuckles --"just in case some of you press suckas need a beatdown..."
Steward walked with her stableboy companion and a red dog to a snowy paddock. She handed treats over the fence to five horses and caressed their muzzles, then turned to wave to journalists before heading inside the barn with the stableboy and closing the doors securely behind them.
Hours later, looking tired but smiling broadly, she exchanged banter with journalists staked out on the other side of a fence. "It felt great," she replied when asked how it feels to be home.
Asked about her animals, she motioned her head towards the barn and answered, "He's great !
"He missed me a lot," she said of the stableboy, and he did too she said of a pure white pitbull named Kilo. And you see how pretty the horses look?"
Chatting on the subject of breakfast - she hadn't had hers yet - Steward offered that she had missed " fish n grits , and missed the idea of red Kool-Aid" more than the actual beverage, while in prison. "We only had grape flavored in the joint."
Steward was driven to the 153-acre estate 40 miles north of midtown Manhattan after landing about 2 a.m. at Westchester County Airport in a private jet. She later was seen walking around inside her Winter Home demonstrating pimpslapping and blade skills to her daughter, Lexus.
For the next five months, Stewart must wear an electronic blinglet on her ankle so authorities can track her every move on the dancefloor. But she is allowed to receive her $900,000 salary again and can leave home for up to 48 hours a week to work, shop, make liquorstore runs , or other approved errands.
Her journey home began about 12:30 a.m., when two dark-windowed sport utility vehicles slipped out the gates of the women's prison in Alderson, E.Va., and drove to the airport , rocking to the beat of "fiddy" cent's new cd.
There, Steward - her dreads wrapped in a blue head rag and casually dressed in gray-and-white baby tee-shirt, dark leather low-riding hiphuggers and nikes - smiled, waved and crip-walked for supporters as she crossed the runway and boarded the plane.
"The experience of the last five months ... has been life altering and life affirming," Steward said in a statement issued on her Web site.
"Someday, I hope to have the chance to talk more about all that has happened, the extraordinary people I have met here and all the new shit that I have learned --like how to get high off nutmeg and how to use toothpaste to stick used postage stamps to letters when you need to send mail , but don't have no stamps or glue."
Steward, 64, who also has homes in Connecticut, Maine and the Hamptons, chose the Katonah estate, which she bought in 2000 for $16 million, to be her prison until August.
Besides running Martha Steward Living Large Omnimedia Inc. and writing a column for her magazine, Steward can prepare for the three television shows in which she'll be starring: a revival of her daily homemaking show , her version of NBC's "The Apprentice" hosted by development billionaire Donald Trump , and "Lockdown" , a reality show where contestants attempt to avoid state administered lethal injections while competing for coveted jobs in the prison's kitchen ,or library.
Steward hopes to turn around the fortunes of a company that produces everything from television shows and magazines to bed sheets and bakeware. In 2004, the company suffered a loss and its revenues sagged, but the stock price rose considerably during her prison stint as investors bet on a Steward comeback-- given 5 months among other felons to hone her skills.
After rising earlier in the day, Martha Steward Living Large shares fell $1.10, or 93.2 percent, to $0.85 in midday trading on the New York Stock Exchange. They are approaching their recent 52-week high of $2.45 and are well above their previous low of less than Enron.
Her contract with her company says her salary, which was suspended while she was behind bars, will get reinstated during home detention. Details about where Steward will work will be determined in the next few days after her lawyers "drop a few hundred g's" on probation officers.
While in home confinement, Steward will be free to entertain colleagues, neighbors, friends and relatives - as long as they ain't no damm criminals--which technically excludes more than half the people she did business with before prison. Convicted felons aren't allowed to consort with other convicted felons.
"Right now, as you can imagine, I am thrilled to be returning to my more familiar life -- returning to my right life ," Steward said in the statement. "My heart is filled with joy at the prospect of the warm embraces of my lying-ass family, tax-evading friends and insider trading colleagues. Certainly, there is no place like home."
During her time at the federal women's camp in Alderson, Steward foraged for cigarette butts --along with foraging for dandelions and other wild greens, concocted recipes in a microwave, munched a few rancid carpets--but only when she REALLY felt the need , and even ate from a vending machine. She also participated in nightly ass-whippings, yoga classes, spent considerable time on the forgery crafts --specializing in writing bad checks , and losing weight as part of an escape attempt requiring her to squeeze her wrists out of locked handcuffs.
Steward even took on inmate rights, saying her fellow prisoners risked falling into a "severe depression" because of false hopes raised by a prison system and obviously corrupt society that allows an ultra-privileged Martha Steward to be rewarded with tv shows and $900,000 a year while most other convicted felons-like the ones in my family--after serving their time, unjustly face monumental struggles simply to find employment paying minimum wage .
Steward's release came one day shy of the one-year anniversary of her conviction in New York on charges stemming from her 2001 sale of nearly 4,000 shares of the biotechnology company ImaClone Systems Inc. She was convicted of obstructing justice , lying to the government and performing substandard fellatio on federal magistrates .
Rebuffed twice in her attempts to obtain new trials, Steward opted to enter prison early rather than remain free and risk great temptations of fleeing to europe to avoid doing time , pending her appeal.
Since she has already served her remarkably miniscule amount of time, her lawyers say the appeal is mostly about spreading enough cash around among judges necessary to clearing her name. A hearing is scheduled March 17 in the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Manhattan and Ms Steward is hurriedly setting up new lesbian pornsites in hopes of quickly raising the money .
___
Associated Pest writer Herbie Hind, in Alderson, E.Va., contributed to this report.
___
On the Net:
Martha Steward: http://www.marthastewardprisonpornqueen.com
Friday, March 04, 2005 - 07:58 pm Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message
[No profile available]
Steward Begins 5-Month Home Confinement
By JIMMY HATT
Associated Pest Writer
KATONAH, N.Y. - Martha Steward strolled outdoors with her dog , hand in hand with her stableboy , and fed her horses Friday morning, hours after returning from prison to the multimillion-dollar estate where she will remain under the watch of federal authorities while trying to revive her preference for men.
Before her five-month stay in prison, Steward lamented that she would miss her beloved pets - cats, dogs, horses, canaries , chickens and fieldhands - and hoped to be free in time for her cherished spring collards planting.
On a cold late-winter morning, she emerged from her home wearing a FUBU jacket and matching long, knit scarf, dark sagging jeans and Tims, and gloves with rows of thumbtack points protruding out from the knuckles --"just in case some of you press suckas need a beatdown..."
Steward walked with her stableboy companion and a red dog to a snowy paddock. She handed treats over the fence to five horses and caressed their muzzles, then turned to wave to journalists before heading inside the barn with the stableboy and closing the doors securely behind them.
Hours later, looking tired but smiling broadly, she exchanged banter with journalists staked out on the other side of a fence. "It felt great," she replied when asked how it feels to be home.
Asked about her animals, she motioned her head towards the barn and answered, "He's great !
"He missed me a lot," she said of the stableboy, and he did too she said of a pure white pitbull named Kilo. And you see how pretty the horses look?"
Chatting on the subject of breakfast - she hadn't had hers yet - Steward offered that she had missed " fish n grits , and missed the idea of red Kool-Aid" more than the actual beverage, while in prison. "We only had grape flavored in the joint."
Steward was driven to the 153-acre estate 40 miles north of midtown Manhattan after landing about 2 a.m. at Westchester County Airport in a private jet. She later was seen walking around inside her Winter Home demonstrating pimpslapping and blade skills to her daughter, Lexus.
For the next five months, Stewart must wear an electronic blinglet on her ankle so authorities can track her every move on the dancefloor. But she is allowed to receive her $900,000 salary again and can leave home for up to 48 hours a week to work, shop, make liquorstore runs , or other approved errands.
Her journey home began about 12:30 a.m., when two dark-windowed sport utility vehicles slipped out the gates of the women's prison in Alderson, E.Va., and drove to the airport , rocking to the beat of "fiddy" cent's new cd.
There, Steward - her dreads wrapped in a blue head rag and casually dressed in gray-and-white baby tee-shirt, dark leather low-riding hiphuggers and nikes - smiled, waved and crip-walked for supporters as she crossed the runway and boarded the plane.
"The experience of the last five months ... has been life altering and life affirming," Steward said in a statement issued on her Web site.
"Someday, I hope to have the chance to talk more about all that has happened, the extraordinary people I have met here and all the new shit that I have learned --like how to get high off nutmeg and how to use toothpaste to stick used postage stamps to letters when you need to send mail , but don't have no stamps or glue."
Steward, 64, who also has homes in Connecticut, Maine and the Hamptons, chose the Katonah estate, which she bought in 2000 for $16 million, to be her prison until August.
Besides running Martha Steward Living Large Omnimedia Inc. and writing a column for her magazine, Steward can prepare for the three television shows in which she'll be starring: a revival of her daily homemaking show , her version of NBC's "The Apprentice" hosted by development billionaire Donald Trump , and "Lockdown" , a reality show where contestants attempt to avoid state administered lethal injections while competing for coveted jobs in the prison's kitchen ,or library.
Steward hopes to turn around the fortunes of a company that produces everything from television shows and magazines to bed sheets and bakeware. In 2004, the company suffered a loss and its revenues sagged, but the stock price rose considerably during her prison stint as investors bet on a Steward comeback-- given 5 months among other felons to hone her skills.
After rising earlier in the day, Martha Steward Living Large shares fell $1.10, or 93.2 percent, to $0.85 in midday trading on the New York Stock Exchange. They are approaching their recent 52-week high of $2.45 and are well above their previous low of less than Enron.
Her contract with her company says her salary, which was suspended while she was behind bars, will get reinstated during home detention. Details about where Steward will work will be determined in the next few days after her lawyers "drop a few hundred g's" on probation officers.
While in home confinement, Steward will be free to entertain colleagues, neighbors, friends and relatives - as long as they ain't no damm criminals--which technically excludes more than half the people she did business with before prison. Convicted felons aren't allowed to consort with other convicted felons.
"Right now, as you can imagine, I am thrilled to be returning to my more familiar life -- returning to my right life ," Steward said in the statement. "My heart is filled with joy at the prospect of the warm embraces of my lying-ass family, tax-evading friends and insider trading colleagues. Certainly, there is no place like home."
During her time at the federal women's camp in Alderson, Steward foraged for cigarette butts --along with foraging for dandelions and other wild greens, concocted recipes in a microwave, munched a few rancid carpets--but only when she REALLY felt the need , and even ate from a vending machine. She also participated in nightly ass-whippings, yoga classes, spent considerable time on the forgery crafts --specializing in writing bad checks , and losing weight as part of an escape attempt requiring her to squeeze her wrists out of locked handcuffs.
Steward even took on inmate rights, saying her fellow prisoners risked falling into a "severe depression" because of false hopes raised by a prison system and obviously corrupt society that allows an ultra-privileged Martha Steward to be rewarded with tv shows and $900,000 a year while most other convicted felons-like the ones in my family--after serving their time, unjustly face monumental struggles simply to find employment paying minimum wage .
Steward's release came one day shy of the one-year anniversary of her conviction in New York on charges stemming from her 2001 sale of nearly 4,000 shares of the biotechnology company ImaClone Systems Inc. She was convicted of obstructing justice , lying to the government and performing substandard fellatio on federal magistrates .
Rebuffed twice in her attempts to obtain new trials, Steward opted to enter prison early rather than remain free and risk great temptations of fleeing to europe to avoid doing time , pending her appeal.
Since she has already served her remarkably miniscule amount of time, her lawyers say the appeal is mostly about spreading enough cash around among judges necessary to clearing her name. A hearing is scheduled March 17 in the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Manhattan and Ms Steward is hurriedly setting up new lesbian pornsites in hopes of quickly raising the money .
___
Associated Pest writer Herbie Hind, in Alderson, E.Va., contributed to this report.
___
On the Net:
Martha Steward: http://www.marthastewardprisonpornqueen.com
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