remembering your birthday mom...

it's been a little over a year since you have been gone and still i cannot believe that you are no longer here . each time i visit the house it is so empty without the sound of your voice and the warmth of your presence --i still expect to see you walk through the door , breathless from an afternoon of shopping , excited about your next plans for travel to some place exotic you always dreamed to see.

we all go on with our lives and our work , but none of us is the same without you the heart of our family is no longer there . it's been a year and we all still at times cry . the kitchen aromas have faded and the house plants you tended so lovingly have--despite our efforts-- without you all gone--there exists a sadness in my soul that only old miles davis ballads can sometimes reach ... dad smiles and puts on the brave face to hold us all together , but he has in the time since your passing turned more and more to me --in part i think to try and prepare me for when the inevitable comes and time arrives to use the burial plot next to yours that he bought when you died...the two of you will rest facing east near fountains --plenty of sunshine and flowing water for you...but facing this part of life , for us --your children , is so hard...